Could parachute-wearing bears sniff out Osama bin Laden?

Bears have scent detection that is far superior to bloodhounds! Trained bears with GPS and daylight cameras around their necks might be able to hunt down the scent of UBL, even in and through any caves and tunnels! Overnight, parachute some bears into areas UBL might be. Attempt to train bears to take off parachutes after landing, or use parachutes that self-destruct after landing.

This is just one of the thousand of letters received by the U.S. Department of Defense, through the contact form from the site Another U.S. citizen ask for help: ” I still have people torturing my pelvis and lungs with dispersed sound waves and my eye and stomach, hip, pelvic region with other types of sound waves”. This remind me of the two Romanian old ladies, dressed ’40-like style, who cries that Securitatea (Romanian Secret Police during the communist regime) irradiated their visceral organs. If you take a walk in the downtown, especially near Cismigiu Park, there’s a chance to see & hear them. Once, I tried to photograph them, but the ladies make a scandal and they accuse me that I want to irradiate their lungs, so I decided to quit.

Source: Stars and Stripes, March 16, 2010, printed Mideast edition


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